Just to Leave Roses
by Sakura2349
Summary: Kabuto goes to visit Orochimaru's grave but ends up thinking back to the past, a personal take on how he must feel. Not meant to be yaoi but it can be taken that way. *One-Shot*


**A/N: Okay so again a different take on Kabuto's perspective on Orochimaru's death. This is not supposed to be yaoi but if you want to see it that way…Well go for it! Enjoy! **

I'm only here to drop roses off at your grave, I should know better everytime I come it is so much more nostalgic. My hand is clutched around the bare stems of the roses. I can't help but enjoy the better sweet sting of the thorns digging into my skin; it's the only thing that lets me know I didn't die that day with you. The tears are flowing down my cheeks, dropping onto the clod ground that now is the only thing that holds your body. I miss being able to hold you and comfort you. You left me here all alone and I never learned how to stand on my own feet without you holding me up. The blood begins to come through my clenched fingers and patter down, along with the memories of you.

I was your medic eternally by your side, ready to take care of every problem that showed its face. I helped you through ailments, and sickness alike. You and I had been through so many pressing situations even times you told me to run and abandon your side, but I wouldn't if you were going to die I was going to be right next to you. We made it through all those fevers that would keep you up half the night with the horrible nightmares of your past they could recreate. I knew next to nothing of what you had gone through but I had no complaints to be the one to come into your room, and simply talking to or hold you and let you sob into my shirt to spare you the dignity of doing it to my face. Who knew I would one day miss the times you were in pain and I could be there for you.

We even made it past the thirds cures. That was the most agonizing three weeks of my life, there you were practically dying and my medical skills could do nothing to reverse it. Your arms hung useless and rotting on your body and all I could do was trying to break the fevers and keep it from spreading, I had never felt more worthless. I tried to comfort you in the night when you would see that damn shinigami coming for you but that was the extent of my ability. You were in worse shape then I would let on, you were practically dying, that was the only reason I kept pleading with you to change, and even offered my own body. Instead you were too persistent on holding out for that Uchiha, do you see where it's gotten us now. You even went so far in your stalling as to force us to go looking for your old teammate. In the end even she did nothing for you. You returned home, still dying and in pain only to finally switch like I had begged of you. I had never been able to take a bigger sigh of relief then when I saw that switch occur on the monitor in my medical lab.

In the end I was still by your side, the body you were in had reached its three year mark and was beginning to reject you. I had forced you onto bed rest despite your many complaints. I put your medication in your tea, and when a coughing fit first struck I was the one running to rub your back to calm you down. I left the room only a split second after informing you I had to up the dosage of your antibiotic. That was one of the only times I ever left you alone and unguarded. What a stupid mistake that had been as I soon her electricity, hissing noises and finally an enormous thud. I came running as quick as I could willing to do what ever it would take but it was already to late you were gone. I pulled your limp body onto my lap and pushing you head into my chest as I kissed those raven locks while my other hand unconsciously smoothed at them in a reassuring method. This was more for me than you at that point. How could you be so selfish to leave me alone for so long where as I was only gone for a few seconds?

I was the one to dig your grave; none of the others in the village saw the point. I did you were a beautiful creature, with a brilliant mind. Your life was just to fleeting for mine to go on. I will never be able to forget how you touched mine; you freed me then took me in as your own. I however in the end failed you! You gave me everything and in return I gave you nothing but my medical abilities and I only let you down when you most needed me. I carved your stone it has a snake close to the ground and on either side of your name it has the heaven seal and the sound symbol. My hand is resting on the top of the stone and its freezing. I pull my cloak once more to my body trying to receive any warmth from it. 'What am I doing? I'm just here to bring roses?' I think as I realized the amount of time that has lapsed since I first arrived, I guess I just got caught up in my reveries.

Back at the base I am the only one to wander these halls anymore. Everyone else packed up and left when they heard you were dead. How could anyone blame them you were the only reason anyone even came here. I stay here because I have faith in you that you will one day come back, the others just gave up, but you know I've always been different. I walk into your room; this is where I have been sleeping because I see it as this would be the first room you would come to. I slip into one of your long sleeve black shirts and a pair of black sweat pants pulling tightly at the stings since they are a little bigger on me. Every thing in here is just the same the rest of the base had fallen to rot and decay but I make sure to keep up the repairs so your room remains perfect. I crawl into your bed the scent of you long since faded and think back to your last moments here and almost here you coughing in the back of my mind.

I roll over to face the mirror and stare at the image, it's hardly me anymore. Half of my face is covered in scales; one of my eyes had inherited your violet framing and snake like eyes. The scales cover my right arm and left leg. I tried to save you by integrating you into my own body but it only failed to do more then serve as a reminder of you. I can't help but think if it's really worth going through one more day alone. What if I should end my life and you came back? Would you even miss me like I have you? I caress at the scales on my right arm, it seems to almost calm me a little as I stare at the distorted image of who I am now. "I guess its true through great suffering comes beauty." I mumble now fondly brushing at the scales over my face.

**A/N:Okay so yeah I can see that this could be yaoi I meant it to be like a friendship but please enjoy and leave comments. None of the Naruto characters belong to me as you should know.**


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